Is love a Tiffany Necklace?

The media is guilty of many felonies: spreading lies, desensitizing us to extreme violence, mercilessly chopping off our attention spans and dicing up our thoughts. Lately, I am thinking more and more about another wrongdoing, the consequences of which seem just as fatal, if not more so: namely that they sell us a false idea of love. I know, I know this thought is not original. We are all aware that the Hollywood romcoms end just before Emma Stone develops a neurological intolerance towards the fact that Ryan Gosling always leaves the loo seat up and before he decides to write his phD thesis on WHAT she could possibly be doing for hours in the bathroom before coming to bed.
We know that the aesthetically pleasing and ecstatically happy couple on Instagram probably makes money out of seeming so.
We know that even Edward Cullen wanted to bite Bella Swan and drink her blood. Yes, he was a vampire, but perhaps it was just an extended metaphor for the way the people you love most can make you feel.

We know that the unscripted love of our real lives is not as easy and spontaneous and requires hard work and laser sharp self-awareness. And yet, how many of us have gone chasing a Jon Doe whose dream character has been built on Richard Gere in Pretty Woman, Heath Ledger in 10 things I hate about you and Hugh Grant in all the movies he’s ever made?
How many of us have given up on someone just because they are far from the hologram of them that we projected when our brains were drowning in oxytocin? Because they are suddenly too familiar, too boring, too….human?
How many of us have been made to believe that true, romantic, parted-lips-in-the-rain, pancakes-in-bed-on-Sunday type of love is completely possible and feasible but only if we search long enough and never settle for anything less than perfect? So we do. We try on different partners, relationships, sexual orientations with the same zeal with which we try to pick the jeans that fit us best for a Friday night out.

But is that what true love really is? Is true love really finding the one and bathing in the bliss of our match made in heaven?  Or is true love learning to love and practicing love even in the moments when you don’t feel like it? Is love when your partner makes you feel complete or is love helping each other to feel complete on our own?

Is love being accepted for who you are or being challenged to be the best version of yourself?
Is honesty the foundation of love or is love holding back the things that you know would cause unneeded pain?

Is love the noisy burble of the waterfall or the quiet ripples of a river?

Is love being inspired or inspiring? Is love listening the chatter of your mind or the whisper of your body?

Is love never hurting the other or is it the inkling to try again and apologise? Is love the dance of growth and change or is the preservation of the magic you felt at the start? Is love being inseparable or is love the desire to separate and meet again?

Is love loving the parents of your partner or is it loving your partner despite their parents?

Is love wanting to immerse your lover in the world of You or is it letting them make yours bigger with theirs?

The loud, insatiable desire to make someone yours or the melting sensation inside when you watch them sleep?

Is love finding someone to like and celebrate the parts of you that are your favourite, or is love being loved without an explanation?

Is admiration vital for love or is love seeing someone in unflattering, undulating light and liking them anyway? Is the purpose of love to cultivate fun and joy or is it spiritual growth?

Is love buying someone a Tiffany necklace or Colgate toothpaste on the way home? Dreams and Desire or Acceptance and Surrender?

Can love ever be both? Or is that too much to ask?

Yours, 
N.