The Hidden Blessings of Self-isolation

The five stages of reacting to the coronavirus outbreak. At first, we were all a little unconcerned, cynical even. We might have laughed at those who wore a mask and flaunted our immunity. Then, secretly, we began to wonder whether we should be paying more attention to the headlines. Did we avoid them because we didn’t believe in it, or because we were scared? Because we want to feel in control, or because we are a little selfish? Feeling trapped, we felt a pang of anger too. We rushed back to the worry-free lives we had just three weeks ago and forward, weepingly, to the first weeks of spring that we’ll have to spend indoors.

We wished we had seen our grandma, sooner. When at last confronted the messages from public officials, competing for our attention, we got scared, and finally put a mask on too. To protect ourselves and others, but also to stop ourselves from expressing unsolicited, unprepared, and ignorant opinions. And now that we have finally realised full impact and seriousness of the current situation, we can accept it, pray for the best, and look for the hidden blessings. I have already discovered a few:

– I am not sure why it is that only during times of crisis that we stand back and re-shuffle our priorities. We think about what really matters. We act the way we always should. We redirect our precious flow of energy to ourselves and to the ones we love, the ones we trust will take care of us, the ones we fall back on when the shit hits the fan.

– We begin to see all the things that we enjoyed repeatedly and took for granted: the comfort of breathing mask-free, touching random banisters, training with heavy weights, seeing your friends when you need them, taking spontaneous trips to Florence (or to the restaurant around the corner), getting a haircut, the cinema, the thought of going to the cinema, hand sanitizer.

– We see that we did all the usual things we did, not because we really wanted to, but because we didn’t give ourselves permission not to: eating at home all the time, working around-the-clock, getting up too early, going to the gym daily. It is sad that it took a country lockdown to realise it. Better late than never, hey.

– And now we finally have the time for Johnathan Franzen’s The Corrections, the art project that has been waiting for some whiteness in our pinky-green iOS calendars, the  cup of coffee that always sits half-full as we leave in the morning.

– The time to decorate our house, and make it feel as cosy as only diligent care and a slow-pace of life could.

– The time to turn inward and explore the feelings, worries, and fears that duly waited for a time when we could afford to be emotional. When the most pressing project would be saved in the folder called “healing”.

– We get to reclaim all the lost time spent travelling.

– Other benefits include:

– channelling our inner Jamie Olivers

– learning to be patient

– getting a landline (please?)

– using Instagram without constant self-criticism.

– experiencing something similar to what our parents, grandparents and even Scott Fitzgerald have described with a wistful and superior tone as “hard life”.

– going to the supermarket and to stock up on toilet paper for no other reason than because it’s fun and a little stupid.

– washing your hands all the time without being called out for your OCD.

– spoiling yourself because you deserve it and because nothing is going the way you want it to. Hello, inner child.

-clearing the space in your mind that is usually busy with when to wash your hair, what to wear, and what excuse to make up for cancelling your plans.

-dancing in your living room (or anywhere else) as if nobody is watching, because chances are, nobody is.

– learning to live with uncertainty: not eating-out uncertainty, not weather uncertainty, not will-I-get-this-job uncertainty, but the real-life-threatening-I-have-no-idea-what-comes-next type of uncertainty.

– the hidden joy of home workouts: queue-free squatting, listening to Britney Spears instead of Iron Maiden, not being awkward while taking selfies.

– the NASA photos of China’s greenhouse emissions before and after the outbreak.

– an unrushed, homemade, candle-lit dinner.

– friends you haven’t heard of from in ages texting to ask if you are okay.

– but most of all: realising that unless we are all in good health nothing really matters.