The tyranny of choice and how to deal with it
If there was a Nobel Laureat bestowed to worst decision maker or a world record that could be set for the Earth’s biggest over thinker, no one would ever stand a chance against me. Although, I still feel far from threatened, lately my earnest competition has been on the rise. And hence, I thought it was time for this blog.
I don’t like using dictionary definitions to start my blogs, I am not taking a grade eight english exam and having a creative block but bear with me.
The Cambridge English dictionary defines a decision as:
“A choice that you make after thinking about several possibilities”. I feel that this definition is slightly outmoded and shortly after finishing this post, I might write to Cambridge Press to suggest a new one. It will be something along the lines of:
“A permanent state of being, whereby your calm is at a perpetual threat and a multitude of decisions and infinite possibilities are thrown your way at lightening speed, the selection of which seem to hold your life in question. “
Shampoo Shopping
I’ve heard awful things about Communism, but the one time when I find myself daydreaming of Marxist times is when I enter the groceries store. I am heading to the self-care isle and I want to purchase, you know, a shampoo. Alas, such a thing does not even exist. There is a shampoo for fine but brittle hair, dizzy but dry, normal but oily. God forbid you have dandruff, as did you know that there are several types? How dry does your hair really have to be to qualify as “damaged”? Someone should tell us these things! And even if you were, the lucky 1 in 100 who happened to know their hair type— do you want just a shampoo, or a 2 in 1 or a conditioner? Oh I know! Maybe a mask? Lo and behold, the effects of these products will alter your hair beyond recognition. But do they really? Have they ever? I have never since I learned to wash my own hair when I was 8 years old noticed a single difference, no matter what the daring promise of my shampoo label. And yet, if I could take back the time spend on self-care isles, I would probably live 2 years longer.
Shampoo is just one part of it and a rather insignificant one (although I do agree with Nora Ephron that the upside of death would be “not having to worry about your hair anymore”); But the dilemmas will catch up with you on any other isle. According to some statistics, in a regular US groceries store there are 285 varieties of cookies, 230 soup offerings, and 175 types of teabags, enough to look at until you turned into a tea bag yourself.
Life Shopping
And it isn’t just about the day to day stuff. In 2018, we have more choice about whom we want to date, is it going to be Ed or John, and shall we find him on Tinder or Bumble? Where we want to go to university— UCL or Kings? And should I take 6 modules or 5? And what country we live in- you know I was born in Botswana, but would love to learn the Tango in Argentina. We could do whatever fancies our fancy, but are we equipped to deal with it at all? I cannot help but wonder, is that much choice really good for us? According to Barry Schwartz, an American psychologist, it isn’t.
In his recent book The Paradox Of Choice he has gone as far as claiming- that while some choice is good, more choice isn’t always better and in some cases it can lead to elevated anxiety, stress and even— clinical depression.
He divides people into two camps- maximisers and satisfiers. Maximisers are something like perfectionists, but worse, because whereas a perfectionist knows that their high standards cannot always be met. A maximiser doesn’t, he expects to meet them.
Knowledge Shopping
Let me go trough a typical Sunday of a maximiser with you:
On a typical Sunday, I have allocated most of my time to reading. As I open my book and go past the first 10 pages, a slight burn of anxiety darts through me— I feel like I am wasting my time on the wrong one. If I’ve only got one day to catch up on a lifetime of reading, I need to make sure I am reading “the right one”. I pick up a second one from the pile that rivals the Eiffel tower, and while this one is indeed promising, it is 1000 pages long, and when and how in my decision-ridden life could I possibly have enough time to finish it? I give myself a break and decide to give some podcast a listen. I remember about all of the recommendations that I have heard in the past week, too bad that I cannot remember any of them. At this point I am starting to acquiesce with my destiny as an ignorant, twenty-something halfwit, thinking that perhaps watching Love Island wouldn’t be a bad idea after all.
Oh, how I wish I was joking, but I am actually slightly worried. I realise that due to the suffocating and overwhelming fact that we’ve only got one life to live, we spend most of our time wasting it. We spend more time making the decision than actually living it. And frankly, that scares me.
So, here is my three step decision making formula that I plan to use daily and hope it might be of some use to you too:
- Identify your goal. Is your goal to be reading the best book of all time, or is to be reading something that you enjoy?
- Make your decision based on how you feel NOW, today. Don’t try to estimate the likelihood of a monsoon in the Sahara desert which might have a butterfly effect on your feelings. In this precise moment, do you feel more like going on a date with Ed or John? (If you do what you want now, it becomes harder to blame yourself for it after)
- The stress of making a decision is more stressful than the outcome of a decision could ever be. Just make one as quick as possible and roll with it. Make the best out of the simply, good enough.
To Reality
With Love,
N.
